Thursday, May 10, 2012

Time Magazine's Outrageous Spin on Attachment Parenting

Ok so I am sure, being readers of this blog that you have already seen the new Times Magazine cover. If you haven't here it is. So already there has been huge backlash not surprisingly from anti breastfeeding people or people who are very anti AP. That is almost expected, though after reading the comments on the Good Morning America page it made my stomach turn just how ignorant most of this nation is. The thing of it is though, you may be surprised to know.. WE DON'T LIKE THIS COVER EITHER! So you may ask why?
Well let's begin with the fact that the child is standing on a chair. How is that comfortable for anyone? This child is most likely 5ish. Maybe 4. A ton of Moms breastfeed to 3-4 though most don't bf to 5-6 but it does occur and is not frowned upon. But children breastfed past 2 or what is called extended breastfeeding occurs normally with the child being lovingly held by the mother and they bond. What this lady is doing who knows. NO ONE DOES THAT! Seriously you could ask ten million EBF moms and they would all say they have never stood their child on a chair to breastfeed standing up. It is beyond sexualized in this picture.
Next point. The title "Are you MOM ENOUGH?" Great way to divide even among AP parents (too bad we are too clever for your tactics). So with that one sentence they have reduced the entire gentle parenting movement to a competition between mother's who are the elite and the rest of use who maybe only breastfed for a few months or a year or two. If anything AP moms are inclusive and helping. That was why I started this blog afterall.. to help educate women to a different way of parenting both AP and more earth friendly.
Next point. There is inside (though I haven't read it yet... I need to buy this magazine to do so and I am not sure I want to give them money) an article entitled Sears VS Science. Again way to reduce everything we do to the same category as astrology. As though their is absolutely no science to back up what we do. Even though Sears based all his research on the work of other groundbreaking Psychologists like Ainsworth and Bowlby (Theory of Attachment), he himself is a pediatrician and his wife a nurse, his sons are pediatricians and this form of parenting goes back centuries. That being said one of the leading current gurus for Attachment Parenting is a Neurobiologist (Mayim Bialik). There is countless neurobiology and science to back up the benefits of what we do. I have yet to meet a practitioner of AP who wasn't intelligent, well informed, well educated, knowledgeable, and well researched. We know what we are talking about because WE RESEARCH EVERYTHING BEFORE WE DO IT! To pit Sears against Science is to say we just make this crap up on a whim. Wow!
So Times looks like to just made everyone angry both pro AP and Anti AP. Overall I would say whatever good this may have been intending to do for the AP way of parenting it failed. It failed big time. I myself am torn between buying this edition to read it for myself, and not giving them a dime of my money. They are portraying the way I and 99% of my friends parent as weird, unusual, scandalous, and most of all a competition. If anyone has bought it and read it.. let me know what you think.
Edit: So I somehow missed that this child is 3. So therefor that actually brings up a really good point. 3 isn't even that far as far as EBF is concerned. Most just regular AP breastfeeder go to 2 and a good chunk to 3. I thought this child was at least 5 but 3.. come on people. He is a baby still. If my son had gone along with my plan we would be feeding still or at least until he turned 2. Our next one I have a goal of 2.
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  1. See if you can reserve it at your library. Then you're supporting your library, AND not givings Time money(which is something they expect when they make such a salacious edition

  2. As a mom who does extended breast feed, I can honestly say that I HAVE nursed my toddler while she was standing on a chair. Also while sitting on the kitchen counter so I can stir something while cooking, and in several other extremely odd positions. Just like all other "crazy" practices that anyone says they'd never do until they're actually in that position, this is yet another. I'd never do something like that out in public, but in my own home I'm sure it's looked quite like the cover of this magazine.
    All that being said, I don't like the way they shot the cover photo or how the articles were written. I do agree with all of your points, however like with ANY parenting style you can't group all AP parents together. To say that EVERY AP parent does research about EVERYTHING or that NO ONE nurses a toddler standing up isn't right or fair. We all have our own styles and techniques.

    1. I honestly have never come across an AP mom or Dad who didn't do the research and know what they were talking about front to back.

    2. I do the research on important issues, but I can say I don't know it all front to back. And minimal research on the common sense practices like co-sleeping and breast feeding. And Hubby definitely doesn't know the reasons why we do what we do. He just does what I tell him to do. He follows most of the AP practices because I follow most AP practices.

  3. I haven't read the article.

    The cover was poorly done. Especially the "Are you mom enough?" title. Implying mothers who don't have an AP parenting style aren't. Way to insult readers Time!

    1. Yes it was insulting to both AP parents and non APers alike. Just generally divisive. :/ just sad.

    2. I am sure that was exactly what they were trying to do. Start some BS for ratings.

      BTW I had no idea that mother's stand their children on chairs to breastfeed. Ive never seen this happen!


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