Friday, May 29, 2015
To My Daughter on your First Birthday: There are only 15 minutes left of this day and you are already sound asleep. Tomorrow is your party so we didn't really do as much today. Still I hope you had a fun day and I hope tomorrow is magical for you. I never thought I would have a daughter. Actually I thought I would only have daughters until the ultrasound for your brother... then having a son was so much more amazing than I thought and I got used to the idea of only boys. When we lost your sister.. that idea was solidified in my heart and head. I never let myself truly hope that i would someday have a little girl. Then there was you. That ultrasound that changed my life forever. There it was.. my tiny baby girl. Still though until one year ago today when they pulled you out I still was nervous we would lose you. Yet there you were, tiny, but strong and fierce. My Rainbow Baby! You had so much heart and personality right out of the womb. I spent the first few weeks with you as in awe and disbelieving as I had been when I first became a mother, because in some ways ... after 5 years it was like becoming a Mom for the first time all over again. Your brother was so vulnerable and innocent as a baby but the last year with you has been a roller coaster. You are so wild and strong and thick headed. You think and figure out everything. You have a funny side but you are guarded and only select people get you see your warm side. You are fiercely loyal to those you love and make everyone work for your smiles and affection, and yet you are a bundle of giggles most of the time when people get to know you. You are so girlie and yet so not. You love dragons and trucks and cars, and balls... as long as they are purple and glittery. You say kitty, dada, mama, duhduh (brother), doggy, this, yes, up, go, and many other words. You use signs to say words you don't know yet and you are so smart. I am just in awe of you daily. To say you have changed my life is such an understatement. Everything with you has been an adventure, different in every way from your brother. Even breastfeeding was different. At first it was more difficult with you but we persevered and we have made it to 12 months! I am so proud of making that goal with you. I am so looking forward to the next year with you. The last one was simply amazing. I love you more than words can say my SWEET SWEET BABY!!!!!