Saturday, June 29, 2013

30,000 hits!!!!

WOW! So while I have been so busy the last few weeks we somehow hit and passed 30,000 hits on this blog. I know some blogs get that many hits a day... and that is fine but I honestly am shocked to have gotten 30,000 hits in less than 4 ys. We only hit the 10,000 mark last August so in less than 1 yr we have gotten 20,000 hits! That is crazy!!!! Thank you thank you, to all my loyal readers, and even just those who check us out here and there. Hugs and blessings to you all.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

D and C

Well a few days ago I had my D and C. As you know I finally chose to find a new doctor. I just had had enough of my doctor not helping me and after calling half the OBGYN's in this town and being told over and over that they can't help me because they work too closely with my doctor, I took myself to the next town over. I found an OBGYN clinic that came highly recommended. I fell in love instantly, and immediately felt a sense of safety and calmness that I haven't felt since my midwife. I never felt that with the OB I had with Asya. So they scheduled me for a D and C after they immediately on my first visit diagnosed me with retained placenta. Whether it was from Asya or a second MC, we will never know, but all I know is that for just under 16 weeks I was bleeding and showing a positive pregnancy test. Not being able to move on physically caused me to not be able to move on emotionally.
So Thursday of last week I went in for surgery. We were told to show up by 8AM. Unfortunately though due to some emergencies I didn't have my surgery until 12 PM. However once they got me to the OR I do not remember anything except that when they woke me up I was in a different room and was very confused. I never had much pain. I haven't had much bleeding. I spent the weekend burying my Grandmother and then spending time with family I hadn't seen in years. I honestly never even really felt I needed to take it easy. I am doing really well. All in all it was a good experience.
I really do feel that I am glad I did not have a D and C when we first found out we lost Asya, because I needed to hold her, I needed to bury her. I am glad for that, but I should have had one within a few days or weeks after losing her, not 15 and a half weeks later. I really am so glad to finally have found a doctor who I feel safe with and who I feel has my best interests at heart. For the first time in 17 weeks I feel like I am ready to look towards the future and move forward and perhaps begin TTC again. As much as I do not look forward to the fear of losing another child which I know will be with me the whole pregnancy, I so look forward to bringing home our Rainbow Baby.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Just wanted to share...

This is a picture I took of Asya Rose's roses yesterday after the rain finally stopped. I am not a photographer and never would claim to be but I have noticed when I take pictures of things I really love they tend to come out amazing. Thought I would share.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Cinntastic Cinnamon

So I have been brewing the idea for this post for awhile. I have become a bit obsessed with cinnamon. The uses for this ground bark are plentiful from healing to household, from culinary to medicinal.
A few months ago, right after we lost Asya, I began drinking cinnamon honey tea. For me it helped regulate a lot of things and give me energy. Mixing honey and cinnamon can actual help cure the following things:

HEART DISEASES: Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread, chappati, or other bread, instead of jelly and jam and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from heart attack. Also those who already had an attack, if they do this process daily, they are kept miles away from the next attack.
INSECT BITES: Take one part honey to two parts of lukewarm water and add a small teaspoon of cinnamon powder, make a paste and massage it on the itching part of the body slowly. It is noticed that the pain recedes within a minute or two.
ARTHRITIS: Arthritis patients may take daily, morning and night, one cup of hot water with two spoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon powder. If taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured.
HAIR LOSS: Those suffering from hair loss or baldness, may apply a paste of hot olive oil, one tablespoon of honey, one teaspoon of cinnamon powder before bath and keep it for approx. 15 min. and then wash the hair. It was found to be effective even if kept on for 5 minutes.
BLADDER INFECTIONS: Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in the bladder.
TOOTHACHE: Make a paste of one teaspoon of cinnamon powder and five teaspoons of honey and apply on the aching tooth. This may be applied 3 times a day till the tooth stops aching.
CHOLESTEROL: Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder
mixed in 16 ounces of tea water, given to a cholesterol patient, was found to
reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10% within 2 hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, if taken 3 times a day, any Chronic cholesterol is cured. As per information received in the said journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol.
COLDS: Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for 3 days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold and clear the sinuses.
INFERTILITY: Yunani and Ayurvedic Medicine have been using honey for thousands of years to strengthen the semen of men. If impotent men regularly take two tablespoon of honey before going to sleep, their problem will be solved.
UPSET STOMACH: Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomachache and also clears stomach ulcers from the root.
GAS: According to the studies done in India & Japan, it is revealed that if honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas.
IMMUNE SYSTEM: Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system and protects the body from bacteria and viral attacks. Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts. Constant use of honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles to fight bacteria and viral diseases.
INDIGESTION: Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey taken before food, relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.
INFLUENZA: A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a natural ingredient, which kills the influenza germs and saves the patient from flu.
LONGEVITY: Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly arrests the ravages of old age. Take 4 spoons of honey, 1 spoon of cinnamon powder and 3 cups of water and boil to make like tea. Drink 1/4 cup, 3 to 4 times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age.
PIMPLES: Three tablespoons of Honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste. Apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it next morning with warm water. If done daily for two weeks, it removes pimples from the root.
SKIN INFECTIONS: Applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts on the affected parts cures eczema, ringworm and all types of skin infections.
CANCER: Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder for one month 3 times a day.
FATIGUE: Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey is more helpful rather than being detrimental to the strength of the body. Senior citizens, who take honey and cinnamon power in equal parts, are more alert and flexible.
BAD BREATH: People of South America, first thing in the morning gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water. So their breath stays fresh throughout the day.
HEARING LOSS: Daily morning and night honey and cinnamon powder taken in equal parts restore hearing.

But cinnamon doesn't stop there: Oh no! It is super yummy on just about anything. pork chops, muffins, ice cream...etc. We all know this and as Americans we consume so much of this yummy bark that tastes oh so good. 
Cinnamon also works great at repelling insects. Sprinkling it around windows and doors works like laying down raid or other pesticides. Ants and other insects won't cross the barrier. Spraying cinnamon oil works like Bug Spray.
Sprinkle cinnamon in your kids sandbox and it will deter bugs, ants and cats from pooping in there.
It is a great room deodorizer too. Water and cinnamon oil works as a natural room fragrance. mix ground cinnamon with baking soda and sprinkle onto your rugs. Leave overnight and then vacuum it up. This also will help rid your house of ants or other insects.
It can even be used as moth balls. Fill a sachet with cinnamon and put with anything you want to keep moths away from.
If you let cinnamon sticks sit in a bottle of vodka for about two weeks you will have a very tasty cinnamon mouthwash.
And there you have it. The many many many many uses for such a wonderful little spice. I just today rid our house of ants. We were getting quite a little issue with them and now.. gone. I sprinkled cinnamon all over the house and put some with baking soda all over the carpets. So far it seems to really be working. I love cinnamon!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013


Before Valentine's Day 2012 I had never really given roses a second thought, now a little over a year later my life is so full of roses I couldn't imagine a day without their beauty.
I am simply a wildflower girl. My favorites being Queen Anne's Lace and Dandelions and Lilacs (lilacs up here are so common they are basically a wildflower tree at this point, they spring up everywhere). I hated tulips, roses ect. I have a soft spot for carnations but even those I don't like as much as wildflowers. I can spot a daisy or black eyed susan at a distance but ask me the name of a man crafted flower and I am at a loss. I am a country girl wild child. Before Valentine's Day 2012 I had only used roses once and that was in our wedding bouquet, a wedding bouquet that prominently displayed Queen Anne's Lace and only used roses because they were the closest flower to black I could find.
Then on Feb 14th 2012 Hubby bought me a small pot of miniature roses. I had never really cared for roses and was sure they would soon die. They almost did.. but I saved them over and over and somehow got them to thrive over the year. That summer I first noticed the roses growing wild (yes growing wild) all through my front yard. I do not know how they got there or who planted them, but they had never been there before last summer. I at first thought about cutting them down, but then I decided against it. I left them where they were and thought nothing of it.

For my birthday that year my friend bought me 6 pairs of dainty metal rosebud earrings in various colors. For Valentine's Day 2013 Hubby again bought me roses which I planted alongside the other ones, now having pink and red roses in the same big pink pot.

Then February 28th 2013 we found out we had lost Asya. I do not know why but I just knew that if I was able to have an actual birth I would bury her in the roses.
On March 4th 2013, my Mother in Law brought us a beautiful bouquet of delicate roses in honor of Asya and her birthday. We knew she would be born that day. She was indeed born that day and we buried her in the rose pot. We then selected the name Asya Rose.

After Mother's Day this year Hubby and I bought a third pot of roses, this time yellow and planted them in Asya's pot. And then this morning I went out to the garden and saw that not only is Asya's pot of roses flourishing and blooming but that the roses that sprang up in our yard are FILLED with blossoms about to bloom and have taken over most of my front yard now. They are truly beautiful. I can honestly say roses in a little over a year have become one of my most cherished things in the world and every time I see one I think of my daughter. I think of rebirth and I think of life.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Do It Yourself Kid's Tees

So two years ago my son had been given several dino tees that he LOOOOVED! He wore them everywhere. However they were beginning to get a bit snug and by this summer they were downright too small. So I thought about what it would take to replace them and I knew it would involve a really long internet search and probably 10$ each per tee. Then I remembered some cloth dino appliques a friend gave me. It had on it 4 very large dinos (also some smaller ones too). I decided that I would just make Bug the dino shirts he wanted and bonus with a biologist Mom, the dino names will be correct and spelled right too which is a bonus. So I bought some fusible webbing which was about 2$ for 2 yds. I bought a rainbow pack of puffy fabric paint which was about 10$ and I bought 6 t-shirts ( I will explain why 6), size small kids (5-6) at the Dollar Tree.
So 4 of the shirts I designed with the dinosaur appliques.
 Apatosaurus in green and blue

 Triceratops on a white shirt that I tie dyed with water and fabric paint.

T-Rex on yellow with green

Steggy on orange with yellow

So then with the other two I decided to make my own appliques. I asked Bug what other shirts he might like and he said a Batman shirt and a fuzzy teddy bear shirt. So for the batman shirt I made an applique of yellow cloth on a black t shirt and then hand drew the symbol in pencil and painted it with black fabric paint. I then touched it up and traced the design with black fabric paint.

Then with the Teddy bear shirt I cut out the face pieces from fake fur cloth and sewed it all together and then stitched it to the shirt. I finished off the face with button eyes and a nose. 

After we were all done with it I bought two more shirts both woman's sizes, one for me and one for my MIL. The one for me I used a smaller dino decal on and painted it with the words "Dino Mommy". The one for my MIL I painted with Bug's handprints and gave it to her as her Mother's Day gift.

All in all we spent less than 20$ in supplies to make 6 kids shirts and 2 adult shirts. Considering most adult shirts run around 12-20$ each and kid shirts run 5-10$ I figure I saved myself roughly 80$.

Nothing Says Summer Like Windchimes...

Well I promised happier subjects, so I thought I would begin with a post about some of the creative projects I have been up to. Since I lost Asya I have spent the last 14 weeks keeping as busy as I can with a variety of crafts and projects. One of the things I wanted to make to help my yard and garden be more peaceful and beautiful was windchimes. My wonderful husband bought me a beautiful set for Mother's Day along with a gorgeous birdbath but I knew I wanted windchimes all around my house.
So I began making some. The first two sets I made I started with cheap windchimes from the Dollar Tree. The kind with a metal shape like a snail or butterfly and then a few short strings with metal dangles hanging from them. They aren't much but it was a start. So I bought a snail and a dragonfly.
With the snail I removed all the metal dangles and then I strung new strings of pink cotton thread that were about the length of my arm. Then I hot glued wire loops to the back of seashells. I then strung them in patterns from the snail. The result was a very pretty windchime.
For the dragonfly I took the metal dangles from both sets of dollar store windchimes and hung them from the same pink thread. I alternated the colors and created a very pretty pattern.
The last set I made I made entirely from scratch. I used green wire to form a base loop. I wove three strands to strengthen it. I then bought some "table scatter" from the Dollar Tree, which is really pretty beads. I made a few more shells and a a few spirals of green wire. Then I strung it all together to make my windchimes. They came out really beautiful. I was very proud.
I then added two miniature windchimes to my flower pots which completed the peace and serenity of my yard. I have three sets on the front porch and three sets in the backyard. So wonderful, it really feels like summer now.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

I am back.

Well I am sorry to all my readers for my almost month long hiatus. To be honest the last few weeks since Mother's Day I have come to realize I am suffering from depression. It ebbs and flows but it stems from the physical inability to move on from losing Asya. I say physical because I feel if my body would finally just let go and be done with this so called "extended miscarriage" that I could finally emotionally move on as well. Instead the last almost 14 weeks of my life have been spent in the hospital and doctor's office. I am still chemically pregnant with Asya, even though I buried her body 13 weeks ago. Even though she most likely has long since decayed and actually become the roses we named her after. If she were still within me I would now be 28 weeks along. I would be a mere 9 weeks from full term. Yet here I stay in this limbo of never ending pregnancy. Unable to even move forward to try to conceive a new child. The hell I live in every day is a hell I can't describe.
And yet the days blend together and new ways to keep moving forward appear. The garden is flourishing, Asya's roses bloom. I have made 3 sets of windchimes for my house. I go to work. I still am the Green Mommy.... I am still Bug's Mommy. I still have to wake up and take care of my family. I still try to make time for friends and family, I somehow do this all while inside I have crumbled. But I promise I will try to find time to write more... and find topics of joy again to write about.

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