Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Today Sucked (a Mom on the verge)

Today was one of those days...
I woke up after a battle with insomnia and less than 4 hrs of sleep...
I woke up to snow everywhere.. on April 10th.
I had to work on what normally is my day off which made me feel all out of sorts.
I got to work and everything seemed to be going weird all day, I won't go into details but work was not great.
On top of all that it's National Siblings Day. I tried my best to put on a brave face and posted a sweet remembrance post but all I did was upset my sisters and actually upset myself as well. Something as silly as National Siblings Day now can make my whole world turn upside down. So while the world around me celebrated a fun little stupid day, I just am adrift in a sea of grief and confusion on just how one celebrates such a day after they lose a sibling. Am I one of 4 sisters now, or still one of 5 siblings?
Then my kids show up and my daughter is crying because she is so tired. I assume she just had a long day and she will be ok after we get home. I get off work a little later than usual tonight and so of course we almost miss the bus. I am yelling and dragging my kids out the door and to the bus stop and then...
The Bus Was Late..... of course...
So despite leaving late we still had to wait another 15 minutes.
So we get on the bus and River immediately falls asleep on me. I feel her head, she is warm. Great...
We get home, I take her temperature... almost 102.  Great...
I take care of her, tuck her into bed, make dinner for me and Bug... and then I get sick....
and sick...
and sick....
So now it's only 7:30 but I have to be at work at 6:30 AM and my stomach hurts, my kid is feavery, my other kid is a surly preteen who ignores we exist up in his room... and it's only Wednesday. It's mid April and there was snow this morning.... It's Sibling Day but my 3 sisters live three States away and my brother is gone. Today was a day where I do not want to be the adult, but instead curl up and hide in my bed....



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