International Bereaved Mother's Day

So Mother's Day can be a tough time for those mothers who have never had a live child, or who have had at least one live child but also lost one or more. That is why they have begun International Bereaved Mother's Day. It takes place the Sunday before Mother's Day, so that falls on May 5th this year. The project was started by this woman. http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/ She runs a blog that helps heal bereaved parents. Some of you have followed my sad story. You rejoiced with us when we announced our joy and wept with us when we buried Asya. This week I get to celebrate both my children. I get to rejoice in the fact that though the world sees one child, my heart knows two. So join us tomorrow to celebrate our lost little ones. We miss them so but they still are loved.
You can find Pregnancy and Child Loss bracelets and jewelry here. You can find the IBMD FB page here.

For Asya Rose

Yesterday I read an article about a study which showed a 97% chance of telling the sex of your baby by 6 weeks. After reading it I compared Asya's ultrasounds (which the last one we had done she was 10 weeks) and Aleks' from 8 weeks and according to the study I now have pretty good proof that Asya would have been a girl, which we all knew in our hearts to be true. I thought that it would make me sad but it didn't. Yesterday was the 7 week anniversary of her birth. I finally went back and did the math. 7 weeks. If she had been born alive (well it would have been a miracle and impossible but had she) she would be 7 weeks old now. Had she not died within me we would be 22 weeks now (well almost.. 21 and a half). As spring comes though and the warm days run together and I watch our garden thrive, and most of all her roses thrive, I feel oddly ok. I think about all the things I would have taught my daughter, would she have had my eyes, would she have a stubborn temper like me, would she have her father's musical ability? Would she and her brother look just alike? Last night Hubby told me he decided to scrap the names River and Rory. We had actually chosen the name Asya Rose partly because we had wanted to use those names again. Asya would have been River Anne had she lived, somehow though I agree... Asya Rose was never really a River. So we have decided to not name any future child we have River or Rory. My response to that was not as disappointed as I thought I would have been. Especially now ( and I pointed this out last night), that we have had two children with A R names, Aleksandr Robert and Asya Rose. We also have had two children who ended up with VERY Russian first names. I would be ok with another A R name and a Russian one at that. Though really naming babies and even thinking about future babies is still a ways off. For now I am going to live my life being the best Mommy I can be to Aleks and in honor of Asya.
If I could talk to her, say a few things to her it would be this. "I love you so much sweet angel baby. You were not a miscarriage, or a fetus, or a mistake that we should erase or get over and then try again. You will not be forgotten and when we finally add a brother or sister to our family they too will know your name. You were our baby and you died, you are lost but not forgotten. Your brother loved you more than you could know and still loves you. We all wish you could have stayed here with us but we will see you someday and we love you."

Great Lakes Brewing Company: A Fantastic Beer that Helps Clean the Earth!

The other day a friend brought me over a beer that used coffee and chocolate in it's flavoring. One sip and I was sold. It was the best beer I have ever tasted and believe me Hubby and I have really snooty beer taste. The beer was called Edmund Fitzgerald and was made by Great Lakes Brewing Company. As I read the label though I saw that they use no chemicals pr preservatives in the brewing of their beers. That intrigued me. I was even happier when I read that they worked to help clean up Lake Erie. So I told Hubby about this beer and he went out tonight and got us their tester pack. You get to try 4 of their best Gold Medal Winning Beers. We haven't tried any of the others yet but I hope they are all just as amazing. So as I sipped another delicious Edmund Fitzgerald I checked out their website and was even more excited about this beer. According to their website they only use organically grown ingredients, grown on their own tiny farms. Their delivery trucks run on alternative fuels like vegetable oil, and they recycle EVERYTHING they use in the process of making their beer. They even reuse their beers that can't be sold because they aren't perfect to make soap, soup, sausages...etc. This is one amazingly sustainable beer company. I am in love. I have found a new beer that not only knocks my taste buds socks off but helps take care of our beautiful Earth. Buy Great Lakes Beer!