Sunday, February 16, 2014

Remembrance of Asya, Looking Forward to River

On the 28th of this month it will have been 1 year to the day since we lost Asya Rose. A day that I will never ever forget. That day I felt my heart and my hopes for the future die. Four days later on March 4th I gave birth naturally to a tiny 2 inch long baby girl and held her in my hands before burying her. At that time I had lost all hope that I would ever have a second living child, as well as all hope that I would ever have a girl. Now here I am 1 year later while Asya's baby sister kicks away happily in my belly, already almost 26 weeks, viable if she were to be born even right now. At this point the only thing we have to fear is something going wrong in the womb, and I am trying to stay as positive as I can. We have an appointment Thursday with the OB and midwife and after this one we start the every 2 week appts. I also have my GD test this week, which fingers crossed I will pass.
I bought some roses today to plant in Asya's rose pot where she was buried. It made me feel good to put fresh roses in, and see blooms again. I hope that wherever she is right now she is looking down on us, and smiling as her big brother prepares to meet her baby sister. I know that no matter what I will always remember and love all three of my children.

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