Wednesday, October 2, 2013

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

As many of you know, my family has suffered 3 losses. Two early on, One 2 weeks into our second trimester. We suffered greatly and any family does. Now 6 months after our last and worst loss, our family has recovered, our lives have returned to normal and we are looking towards the future and bringing home a rainbow baby someday soon. Yet we are never going to be the same, entirely. Our family was ripped apart when we lost our daughter Asya Rose. We are not uncommon. 1 in 4 women has lost at least one child.  Maybe you yourself is one of those 1 in 4. Maybe you have a sister, Mother, Daughter, friend, who has lost babies. 1 in 4 have. Yet many women never talk about it, never mention it, suffer in silence. I know that for me... talking about it was the only thing that helped. Despite the fact that I lost friends, had people walk out of my life because they felt I should just "get over it", I had to heal in my own way, in my own time. There are many women for whom losing a child, unborn or after birth, is something that haunts them until their dying day. My grandmother's first born child was a full term stillbirth. When I lived with her she was in her late 70's and early 80's. She still would tear up a bit when she would talk about her lost baby. She had 5 children who walked this earth but she had 6 children in all, one just got to heaven a little bit earlier. We all have troubles and sorrows in this life, but only the loss of a child are we supposed to shoulder alone. The single greatest sorrow a human being can undergo, the loss of their child, their flesh and blood, the child they carried inside them, and we expect these women to be silent, to just "get over it". So this month we remember these lost babies and children, we honor these women, and men (Father's weep over their children too). I am 1 in 4, are you, is someone you love?

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