So I decided after spending time with some parents of friends of Bug's all older than me by at least 6 or 7 years, and all with pretty respectable careers, and found myself comparing lives with them and trying to not feel ashamed or young, that I was going to make a list of ten things I am ashamed of or wish I did better and ten things I am proud of as a Mom. I really think that it could be fun to see how many other parents who you may feel have it all together might be thinking they wished they were you... I think we all have something we do great.
Things I wish I was better at as a Mom:
1. Laundry. OH LORD! Our laundry pile and yes its a pile not a hamper in our bathroom is massive and we often have clean clothes stack in piles waiting to be put away. I inherited my mother's hatred of laundry. I would rather do dishes, scrub the bathroom, do absolutely anything rather than laundry. I only like it in the summer because I can hang it on the line.
2. My bedroom is always a mess. I work so hard trying to juggle everything else that when I do clean I get to the livingroom, bathroom, etc and never my bedroom. But I am getting to it.
3. I do not have a career or even a job I love. I am not impressive and despite achieving a degree, something I am very proud of, in most circles my degree is worth as much as toilet paper. Actually toilet paper is at least useful. A 4 yr degree in Biology is worthless and no one cares. Science people don't care because I don't have a doctorate and the rest of the world doesn't care because science is boring.
4. I lost my baby. I know I know.. not my fault... but it is hard to shake the feeling that I somehow caused it.
5. We don't own a home. The last of my things I wanted to do before 30 was buy a home... and now... sadly that isn't even on the horizon. I wonder if we would have owned one by now if it weren't for the housing collapse.. but honestly probably not. I think we are scared to try.
6. I only have one kid. I feel that most Moms don't consider you a Mom until you have at least 2 kids. They look down on Moms with one because one kid is easy. However since I am "Mom" to over 30 kids everyday I feel I know a bit about more than one child.
7. I am not sophisticated and honestly I am downright awkward in social scenarios. I just never know how to act, what to say.... I am still the loser kid.
8. I don't have the money to ever give Bug the good things in life.
9. I am just not a good housekeeper (sensing a theme?) I just suck at it. I always feel like I have better things to do. A hat to crochet, a garden to weed, a kid to fly a kite with.... Won't the floor be messy still tomorrow?
10. I am not pretty or thin. I know I know... Who is right? I will tell you who...So many of the older Moms, who waited until 35 or so to have kids are all thin, sporty, gorgeous, put together... I am just none of those things. I feel like maybe they have the right idea.. build a career, be super fit and gorgeous, have a great house.. then have your kids.
Things I am proud of as a Mom:
1. I can make anything!!!!! No I really mean it, be it a new recipe or a craft I have never tried, or a dress I see in a catalog. If I want it I can make it. I can reproduce absolutely anything. I have never tried something I couldn't master. I may not be the best at it but I will try it. I will do it.
2. I garden. I grow all the organic food we eat, I grow it with my own two hands, I dig deep in the dirt and produce gorgeous food for my family to eat. I can, jam, jelly, pickle, and make sure my family eats well all year.
3. I do have a biology degree. I FOUGHT for it too! I spent so much time working so hard, and even though the rest of the world doesn't care I DO!
4. I have time for Bug. Almost all the time whenever he needs me I am there to do anything he wants. We flew a kite the other night five minutes after I walked in the door after work. I was exhausted but hey ... let's go fly a kite.
5. I care about the planet, and write this blog. I try to make the world a better place not just for me, or Bug but for other people as well.
6. I breastfed for 9 months. I know it's not much but I did it and I plan to breastfeed our second kid if we ever have one for longer.
7. I cloth diapered, and not only that but helped bring hundreds of other Moms to cloth diapering.
8. I decorate our home with love and life and laughter. Anything we need or that could make our home nicer and more happy I make with my own two hands.
9. I have dance parties with Bug in the kitchen while we cook dinner.
10. My Bug says I am the best Mommy in the world... and really his opinion is what counts.
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