Sunday, March 3, 2013

Being Strong

I have been told over and over in the last few days, that my talking so much about this loss, has helped other women come out of the shadows of shame and sadness, and begin to talk about their losses. I have heard the saddest stories. Some had happier endings, some did not. Yet all these women need to be able to talk about this life changing horrible thing. Being strong does not mean suffering in silence. Why is loss of a pregnancy or infant so often such a taboo subject. If parents lose a child age 3, or age 16 people expect them to be sad or cry or talk about. Yet if that child was 20 weeks prenatal, or a still birth.... people tend to get iffy, and squeamish. They expect you to go, oh well, we will try again soon.
How can you though? Was that baby not loved? It may have had a name. Ours did only we still don't know if the sex had been a girl or a boy so we hadn't given one of the two names. We had dubbed it only, Sugarbaby. It was as much our child as Bug is. We had not loved it as long .. but we did love it.
1 in four women suffer from at least one loss in their lifetimes. Often many over and over. With so many of us suffering it's a wonder more of us aren't talking. We need to break this silent wall down and let out our feelings. You are strong ladies ( and men.. my husband is very hurt by this loss), you are strong just knowing you carry on, but you do not have to be silent.

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