Thursday, January 17, 2013

Thoughts as I Enter Week 8

So today was our first OB appt. That in and of itself was an odd feeling. With Bug we  had a midwife and now with this baby we have been forced to have an OB. However so far it wasn't a bad experience. They even offered to let me try a VBAC which was something I had given up on. The problem is the local doctor (local being an hour away) who will perform VBACs does so through induction. Everything I have researched on VBACs says that induction is almost never used as it greatly increases the chances of hard labor, an uterine rupture, infant mortality, and possibly a transfusion for the mother. So needless to say they sound terrifying. The only other choice of a VBAC is that if I go into labor before 39 weeks they may allow me to birth naturally if all looks well. Otherwise at 39 weeks I will have to have a planned c-section. Honestly I feel as though my hands are tied. I have looked at it up and down, left and right and I really don't see a lot of options. Hoping I go into labor early seems to be my only safe option and I really don't want to wish for my baby to be born early. Sigh......
Our first ultrasound is on Tuesday. That I am looking forward to. I know some people are very anti multiple ultrasounds during a pregnancy but I never understood the idea behind that as no one has ever offered me any science to show it being detrimental. Personally I think they are very beneficial in finding problems ahead of time as well as allowing the family to see their little one. I know our little one will only look like a bean at this point but seeing that heart beat will be worth a million dollars.
I also have been working on our registry... or lack there of. We honestly don't have much on it other than geeky onesies. We don't need much this time around and it made me recall how much formula and disposable diapers we were given as gifts with Bug. I think the thought was we didn't know better with our first baby and would get over the crazy breastfeeding and cloth diapering phase. I can only hope that with this baby people now hopefully realize we were and are serious about how we choose to raise our children and that while we appreciate any and all help people give us giving a greenie mom disposable diapers and formula is like giving a lion a carrot.
The last thought floating around in my head has been the fact that if this baby is also a boy, he will be of course NOT circumcised. Bug isn't and is a perfectly healthy super clean little boy, who's penis will be able to grow naturally the way God intended. If this baby is a boy we will of course give him the same gift. Bug asked me the other day what circumcised meant. I tried to put it as delicately as possible. I said "some baby boys have an operation to cut the skin off the tips of their penises". He looked confused and horrified. He asked if he was and I said, no honey you have all your skin, it was the best gift we could give you for life. I then told him if the baby is a boy we will give him the same gift and he looked very happy. The he paused and said "so if it's a girl you will cut off her skin?" I said "No honey, girls don't get circumcised." He looked at me and said "only boys do? Why? That's mean!". I really quite agree with my son.
So basically these have been my thoughts as I start the journey into motherhood once more. Amidst the worry, the nausea, the exhaustion and the mood swings... I have all these thoughts bumbleing around in my head.

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